Independance Day

The day started off a bit rocky with the children throwing things at me, yelling at me and fighting over who got to sit on which couch. But I tried to have a good attitude, I tried to not yell, not spank, not throttle the little necks of the tiny being sucking out my every last bit of sanity...I think I failed. Cam was in timeout before 10:00am. Wes was in tears from being yelled at for doing something I had asked him not to do, told him not to do, warned him not to do, removed him from the issue and still, he ran back. We woke Doug up at 11:30. It wasn't early enough.

We decided to go to a park for a picnic, imagining a fun family outing, good food, happy children delighted with their loving parents for caring enough to think of making family memories. Oh wait...my kids are only 2 and 3? Oh. Well then. It was 102 degrees today. Hot, bright, sweaty. Traffic. It took 30 minutes of driving around to find an entrance to Subway when it is only 10 minutes away.

Then the day got better, good food happy kids, a mom that was just a little less pissed off and grouchy; Cam even asked if I need a diet coke so I wont be grouchy anymore. So cute.

The day ended well and then I remembered my huge mistake I made today. After losing my temper with Cam today, spanking him and putting him on the couch in timeout for not listening for the millionth time, he said "I don't like you mommy" and I opened my mouth to say "I still love you" and out came "I don't like you much right now either". Wow. Mother of the year right there. I can't believe I said that. I just have to hope that this is one moment that Cam will not remember and need therapy for. What a wonderful way to show him how to deal with frustration in a mature and loving manner.

How do I teach them how to deal with aggression and frustration when I don't even know how?

I want my kids to be happy. Just happy. And most days I think they do go to bed happy, at least I really really hope that is true.

Now I am going to go sneak a cuddle with Cam and whisper how sorry I am. Hopefully I will get another chance tomorrow, and tomorrow I won't screw it up.